Jerusalem Post

ByLADO OKHOTNIKOV

As an entrepreneur building a health-tech startup — and simply as someone who cares deeply about a mindful and responsible approach to wellbeing — I have always treated the topic of sleep with special reverence. And for good reason. Countless studies show that sleep is a fundamental biological process: our body rests while the brain actively clears toxins and sorts memories and information about the world.
Pretty amazing, isn’t it?
Knowing this, I’ve always paid close attention not only to how much I sleep, but also to the quality of my rest. Stories about “successful” people who see sleep as a waste of time and energy are long outdated. In our fast, tech-driven world, sleep has become the new gold.
Naturally, I try to follow sleep hygiene rules, keep my bedroom cool, meditate or do gentle relaxation practices, and generally take a mindful approach. I always assumed that this works roughly the same for everyone — until I heard a story from a close friend that made me look at sleep from a completely different angle.
My friend and former classmate mentioned in passing that he had recently started sleeping poorly: taking forever to fall asleep, waking up throughout the night, and sometimes not sleeping at all until morning. He told me the whole thing began with a couple of sleepless nights before an important meeting — the kind that can determine the outcome of a difficult situation. Soon after, the situation resolved itself, everything turned out fine, yet his sleep never returned to normal. Little by little, he reached a point where he had to take sleeping pills just to get a couple of hours of rest.
I assumed he was still worried about something after that stressful period — after all, he had a demanding job and had recently moved into a new home. We all know how anxious thoughts interfere with sleep. But he told me his stress levels had already gone back to their usual baseline — the same level that had never stopped him from sleeping well before. And when I brought up sleep hygiene, he admitted that he had tried following all those rules, but somehow they made things worse, which is why he eventually turned to sleeping pills.
His family doctor ruled out any medical conditions, prescribed magnesium and sleep medication, and sent him home with the classic advice to “try not to worry.” Modern medicine had nothing else to offer.
In the end, my friend became someone who couldn’t think about anything other than how to force his body to work the way it used to. And I don’t blame him — I would probably have done the same.
This situation intrigued me, and I began wondering why it was happening — and how I could help.
I read a few open-access studies on sleep. They were informative, but none gave a clear answer to this mystery. Then I happened to come across a video of a young, healthy woman describing her sleep problem. It all began with a few sleepless nights before an exam, and from then on, things only got worse. Her fear of not falling asleep and her obsession with sleep hygiene became so overwhelming that she developed what is known as sleep anxiety.
Fear. Something clicked in my mind. Of course.
The fear of not sleeping creates exactly what we fear: insomnia. A vicious circle that can be broken only by letting go.
I suggested that my friend stop trying to fall asleep, forget all the sleep rules, and simply watch a good show at night or go for a walk — anything that would take his mind off sleep.
“How can I stop thinking about sleep when it’s all I think about, day and night?”
“Well, then stop thinking about it — it’s not like it can get worse. Drop the magnesium and all your sleep rituals. Is there something you genuinely enjoy doing, even something completely mindless?”
“Well, it might sound a bit weird, but I’ve got this huge book about Alaska’s wilderness. I can literally spend hours just staring at the trees, plants, animals… and then I end up planning some imaginary route for a future trip.”
“Perfect. Then grab that book, dive into it, plan whatever you want to pack for that trip — and honestly, forget this whole ‘I have to sleep’ thing.”
The next morning he texted me on WhatsApp:
“So I got totally sucked into the book until two in the morning — didn’t even think about trying to fall asleep — and then I just passed out and slept until 7:20.”
There it was — the simple secret hidden in plain sight. The solution was as elegant as it was obvious: remove the pressure and let go.
My friend slowly got better and, in the end, solved his problem by letting go of the need to solve it.
This became not only a new way for me to think about sleep and sleep quality, but also a beautiful life lesson for many people who are used to pushing hard and getting things done. Sometimes it’s essential to stop fighting.
Maybe we all need to just plan a trip to Alaska at some point.